CHRONOLOGY by Lisa Marie Bowman

March 18, 2012


Alan was my first, the one who claimed the prize
He was older and oh so forbidden
His car was small and oh so claustrophobic
Happy Birthday


Johnny’s the one I taunted for so many years
But whenever we went out, it just bored me to tears
I asked him about bondage and he replied in fear
He’s stoned


Michael called me Pandora and I called him Lestat
The day I met his mother, I wanted to go home
He joined the Marines and he called me on the phone
Gung Ho


James was really skinny and so very tall
The two weeks I spent with him was really quite a ball
But he liked to wear a kilt while hanging out in malls
No thanks


Patrick was a blonde that I led on just for a while
Don’t know how I felt about him but he always smiled
I guess it was convenient cause he didn’t live a mile


Kim’s the one I hope knows I never meant to lie
Don’t know what I was thinking when we gave it a try
I told her I was moving and I very nearly died
Not quite


Tim was the frat boy with the toothpaste smile
A summer lifeguard who never read a book
We were so very cute but his nickname wasn’t worth the look


Antonio was black, he taught me to play pool
Every time I missed a shot, I surrendered a few more rules
I let him win every time, that was pretty cool
I think


David was a darn nice guy who now likes other men
I thank the Lord in Heaven that we’re still friends
He buys a pack of cigarettes and we hang out in the West End
He’s gay


Damon bartended, stripped, and sang and not a whole lot more
He left his car running as he walked me to the door
That made me so very scared, why didn’t he want more?
Who knows?


Doug barely knew me but he worked across the street
When we worked the same night we’d grab a bite to eat
He said I was white trash, he wasn’t very nice to me
Me too


Chris was the best actor I had ever seen
That tattoo on his shoulder blade almost turned me green
He was too polite, he was never obscene
I walked


Dane, baby, why’d you go and break my nose, you liar?
Now the thought of seeing you unnerves me to the wire
Were you the only one who hoped to see me expire?


Robert was drunk and stoned almost constantly
Never took on any great responsibility
Never ate the fruit of knowledge, never saw the tree


Charlie’s a soldier, he’s fighting a war of his own
Dyed his hair blue, defied the norm
He was good in the wintertime because he kept me warm
‘Til spring


Allen flew airplanes, he took me out to eat
We flew out to East Texas, that was pretty neat
He said he was too busy. I got out of my seat
And left


Christy lives down under, she helped me stay alive
We met online and she inspired me to take a dive
She had to leave no matter how much I cried
I’m sorry


I guess I must get on with things although I’m not sure how
Realistic words of wisdom are hard to find now
Despite my constant promises, I’ll always break this vow
No more.

Lisa Marie Bowman was born in 1985 and hasn’t died, yet. She lives in the suburbs of Dallas and writes about film, television, and popular culture in general at Through the Shattered Lens. You can also follow her on Twitter.


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